2025-10-10 – News – www.theguardian.com

To avoid becoming a conflict manager, you might want to pick phrases to repeat like a broken record, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith. They might stop trying to involve you

My brother and sister are really angry at my parents. They say that we had a terrible childhood because my dad was absent a lot and my mum used to play us off against each other to keep control. There was a lot of arguing.

But this is just half the story. I know my parents loved us all a lot and tried to give us a good childhood. We always had home-cooked food and stories. Nowadays my parents are trying to make amends, but my brother and sister just don’t see it. They’re so critical and to be honest I think they’re a bit ungrateful. I feel caught in the middle. What can I do?

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