2025-10-12 – News – www.theguardian.com
Changing such ingrained habits isn’t easy, but when you’re about to apologise try counting to 10 or substituting a different phrase
I’m a woman in my late 30s who, since childhood, has thought it vital to be polite to those around me, including saying sorry when I feel I’ve done something wrong. While I have a happy and fulfilling life, I’ve always had very low self-confidence. This combination of wanting to acknowledge others appropriately and constantly doubting myself has turned me into a person who apologises a great deal. Often, it happens so fast I’m not even conscious of it. It is definitely coming from a place of anxiety and has affected my personal and professional life. It drives my loved ones and colleagues mad, and then it drives me mad that they point it out – only making me more anxious about it.
It is a particular problem when it comes to public speaking or asking questions in front of others. I try to have everything written down so I stay concise and…
